What to know before marrying a doctor

Dr Bakhtawar Shah

To all those who want doctor girl as their wives, you guys are not only opting for a degree or a package i.e good looks, status,degree,family background but an individual who has her own mind set, her own choices, her own decisions. Here is what you guys have to accept if you are marrying a doctor:

1. Medicine is not a 5 year of education and then a perfect job. Unlike other degrees it’s a continuous process of educating yourself, so don’t get upset when she gives you the baby to take care for 3 hours while she is completing her chapter. (Not always the smiling baby, but crying, pooping, vomiting baby too at times)

2. Getting into a medical college was not an end time decision, like ohh let’s be doctor and ending up in a medical school. It was a 20 year old decision. They have studied for it, strived for it for years. So in all this struggling periods our moms never asked us to cook, clean, take care of relatives and guests (most of the times we were in our rooms or academy when they came). So they literally don’t know how to cook biryani, kormay. They can learn if they decide to be stay at home moms “if they decide”. So don’t expect us to be a perfect cook for you. Except for the weekends they can show you some serious cooking skills.

3. Doctors don’t have a 9 to 5 job. Sometimes it is and sometime they even have to go to the hospital at mid night disturbing your sleep too, and sometimes we don’t come home for like 36 hours. So deal with it patiently. And if they come after that routine they are equally tiered as you are so don’t expect them to be a perfect happy face wife and cook for you and kids.

4. We take decisions of life and death so basically may be she has a better decision making power than you. Sometimes she will ask for your assistance sometimes she won’t. So this thing should never ever hurt your male ego. Always be open to it.

5. They work in an environment where there is frequent dealing with opposite gender, male nursing staff, male consultants, male HO, male residents and male patients. They can call her, msg her at anytime. Basically they share a bond which is just like family because life at a hospital is totally different you have to rely on each other regardless of gender race or creed otherwise surviving the hospital life is impossible. They have their own issues, inside jokes, fights. So open yourself and your mind for all such situations. Your wife will have to deal with them no matter what.

6. Seeing life and death on daily basis, dealing with cranky attendants, listening to the aggressive lectures of consultants will effect her mood. She will have more mood swings than a normal girl. So you have to be there when she is low due to loss of patient, when she is excited when she saved a life and when she is cranky for no reason when she dealt with HOD’s bullshit.

7. She will love you more than anyone else could because she has seen the pain of losing dear ones so closely, she will cherish every single moment with you and will try to make small happy occasions as beautiful as possible because she knows how fragile life is more than anyone else. She will take good care of you and kids because obviously this is what she has been learning for years now. She will never take you for granted, never ignore your small efforts, will always praise your little things because she knows how important it is. She will love you for yourself, your nature, for what you are as a person not for you status or money because she can afford her expenses herself. She married you because she saw a perfect partner in you not an ATM machine. 

So, I request all men, there is nothing more perfect and beautiful than finding a doctor wife because we are just too good but before marrying her you need to understand what it’s like to have a doctor as your spouse and make yourself ready for all. In the end it’s a perfect journey full of love, surprise, commitment and faith.